yeah screw that last boyfriend. I had totally forgotten about him actually. current weight is floating between 124 and 121... I look back at my stats in October and I was 118. with 19 in thighs. which is fat, but not as fat as 21 in thighs that I have now. I used to be too embarrassed to post my stats because they are so bad, but I figure why the hell not. I mean, i'm trying to get screwed by life. like, getting involved with a married man. that is so captivating. if he was single, I would already have him. when I first met him I didn't know he was married and we had an instant connection. we have been very platonic. nothing that you wouldn't do in front in front of your mother. now I find out he has this "second life" thing... that is how he.... is.... and wishes to be.... and his wife is just.... I dunno? stupid? he says he has bought her lingerie and stuff and she never wears it... and they have been to therapy... and I guess maybe she just isn't in to what he is into.... which is pretty much a 50 shades of grey thing. and I have no idea what I'm doing.... about the married man situation. 50 shades of grey is a walk in the park. i'm currently reading the book and i'm like this like soft core s/m. it's a weird book that seems passionless and passionate at the same time. I totally understand the pain with pleasure thing. and we are both scorpios. I have never been involved with another scorpio and he is very sexy in a nonchalant kindof way. and I have no idea what i'm doing. like wtf Ashley you have been the other woman once before. it never ends well. it will be fucking awesome but it will end terribly. why do I do this to myself? I need to talk to him again. to figure out what is going on. meanwhile.... who can think of food? pounds need to be lost. life is out of control.